A selfless encounter with myself

28 July 2015
54A May St
Hamilton East
NZ

At certain points in my life, I detested writing. I procrastinated because I felt like I wasn't really being real. Most of the real moments I had, I kept it in my heart--- so no one would steal it and no one would judge it. That way, I free myself from expectations of anyone liking or commenting on it. One of the side effects of facebook and other social media sites to this world is that people are sometimes trapped in a world of make-believe. And I sometimes also fall into this trap. There had been times in my life when I find myself living my life in a way which would gather many 'likes'.. I though it was going to make my life any happier and better than anyone's. But the truth is, I was just fooling no one but myself.

This age is bringing humanity into a huge drainage. Anyone who goes with the flow will end up in the septic tank, finding themselves swimming along with all kinds of rubbish and sh*t. Now, let me ask myself a pretty rare question--- when was the last time have I been really honest with myself?

The truth is, I was really never honest. In fact, the idea of writing a blog and the possibility that a fellow wanderer may possibly come across to this one and read this, simply tarnishes my honesty. Why? Because I am expecting an audience and I would definitely want my audience feel that this one's worth reading. But who really cares?

So I am writing this for my future self. I want my future self to know that at this stage of my life, I have been trying and will always try to become a better old me for a future self which I can be really proud of. I am always a work in progress. I am trying because this world is getting dangerous by the day. It continuously defines you of who you should be, what you should be doing, what should you be eating, what should you be thinking, and any should-be's the you can think of.

So let me begin by being honest with myself.

WHAT DO I REALLY WANT TO BE IN MY IDEAL FUTURE?
I want to be the mother and the wife of a godly family. A godly family who serves as an inspiration to everyone surrounding them. A godly family who is never perfect but is always trying to be one with God and Lord Jesus Christ in the middle. Because when God is in the center of one's life, one will never really feel empty and lacking.

WHAT MATERIAL THINGS DO YOU OWN?
A house which I can stare at and say to myself--- "Ah, this is my dream home!"
A car which would carry me and my family to places in our heart's content.
A business which won't necessarily give my family the security of a lifetime, rather, a business which would allow us to be more generous and giving to the deprived.
A title which I can scribble along my name.

WHAT HAVE I ACHIEVED FOR MY HEALTH?
Never ever go over 70 lbs! Regular biking, walking, and a sport which will hubby and I can do for bonding.

WHAT TYPE OF RELATIONSHIPS I HAVE WITH FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND OTHERS.
Family-- I am a wife and a mother who loves. I am a daughter who always remembers.An ate who always cares. A friend who treasures memories and who tries to find time when needed.

WHAT IS MY IDEAL PROFESSION?
A University lecturer and a public school leader. I hold a leadership position in the government where I am able to influence change and at the same time doing part-time teaching job to empower the minds of my students.

WHAT KIND OF TEACHER AM I?
I am a teacher who inspires not just by talking but by showing.I want my students see hope in me. I want them believe in their dreams through me. I want them have me as an inspiration.

WHAT AM I BESIDES WEARING A UNIFORM?
I am a traveler to places such as Japan, Europe, and the US. Not just for the sake of getting amazing photos but most importantly to learn more of myself by learning from others. To be more human by knowing and understanding more humans. I travel to be alive.

WHAT KIND OF COMMUNITY DO YOU LIVE IN?
I live in an imperfect community which constantly develops me to being a better me.

28 Reasons why New Zealand should be in your bucket list.